Maybe this looking back is something you start doing more of when you brother turns fifty and your day is coming soon. Maybe this happens when you realize your parents are in their seventies and grandma is in her nineties. I find myself trying to figure out how I got here and where I'm going. This was the title of a teaching I did a few weeks ago. Don't we all wonder the same thing?
Take a look back with me. What is your earliest memory? Where were you living? Remember playing with that kid down the street? Do you remember his name? I do. My best friend was Kevin Condiff. His birthday was 3 days before mine. That little memory goes back about thirty nine or forty years. Do you remember your first crush? Your first love? All these things combine to shape your life and they are all part of who you are.
Your spiritual life is the same way. The people and places of your life become part of who and what you are. When you ask how you got to this place, take a look back. Your life is full of memorials to the Lord. Even in those times when you didn't have your heart inclined to Jesus, He still had His hand on your life. Does your life look like a minefield when you look back? Does it feel like you made your way through some situation that could have changed your life forever? Did you step on a few mines along the way? I did. I did things that made no sense. I survived them. I hurt people and family by acting on my pride and selfish desires. Regrets are okay, they keep you focused when looking forward. Just don't let the regrets become a burden of guilt. Do you think we made it through the rest of that minefield by accident? I don't. There was someone praying for you. God put people in our lives to minister to us, to guide us. Even in subtle ways.
As I was writing this afternoon, I remember a particular day when I was about 19 years old. I ran into this guy I went to school with. I never really knew him well but we were always friendly. He was always real shy and never spoke much. But on this day he began to witnesses to me. I was shocked. Quiet little Sam was now talking nonstop about Jesus and all that He had done in his life. He was talking about being born again and his bible study and on and on. At the time, I was married but still looking to make money and have fun. This guy was on fire and all he wanted to talk about was Jesus Christ. I remember looking at him and thinking he was a wacko, radical Jesus freak. I remember distinctly thinking that I wanted just enough Jesus to go to heaven but not so much it cut into my fun. Wow, was I confused. But Sam left an impression that day. He left me wondering what could turn this quiet withdrawn soul into such an outspoken bible thumper. The question remained unanswered for quite a few years. Sam committed suicide a few weeks after I talked with him that day. There were things in Sam's life that drove him to that escape. While Sam is a memorial in my life, I wonder if Sam was reaching out to me, wanting someone to talk to. If so, I blew it. I hope to see Sam in heaven and tell him that it took me a lot of years but I did find the answer to the question he planted in my mind.
Our life is filled with opportunities to be ministered to and to minister to others. I think I missed many of them because I was focused on me and not on the Lord or others. You never know when you cross paths with a complete stranger that you may become a memorial in their life. You may become the total stranger that gave them a smile and a word or act of kindness when they needed it most.
We can't understand the comings and goings of the Lord or the path of life. Maybe in heaven all these things will make sense. Until then, I'll do my best to commit my way to the Lord. To be used by Him and for Him for His purpose in His time. A new opportunity may be right around the corner, in the next stranger you meet or the old friend that calls. Are you ready to minister to them? Are you ready to be ministered to?
Can you give an account for where you are and where you are going?
Just thinking again.
Doug
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